Where's the Love?!

So back in the day (before my break from dieting and such) I had tons of comments?!?! Now I have more followers but no comments. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm by no means a diva and need comments. But I want to make sure what I'm writing about is relatable (is that a word? lol) and current. Ya know?! So I'm going to go leave some love on all you guys' blogs and hopefully it'll be returned!!!

* I went to the gym on Monday, for the first time in forever... "foreeever" (like the sandlot kid). lol. I spent a half hour on the weight machines, which went fine because I enjoy that stuff. I didn't do any of the floor moves that the trainer taught me from last time (check it out here), because @ this Bally there's like a small area for floor exercises, and there's always trainers and buff people there. Lol. Yes, I was a little timid being back there again. Usually, however, I'm like whatever about it and could careless what I look like lol. I guess it's one of the benefits of being engaged. Anyway.... the problem errupted when I went to do the elliptical.

Before I was stupid, and stopped exercising regularly (meanning only a few months ago..) I was so proud of myself for doing like a half hour on the elliptical. Monday, I was struggling to do fifteen minutes. It was pathetic. I will excuse myself slightly, only because I didn't have any music to listen to.. but come on!! 15 minutes!

Also, on a sadder note.. I gained all my weight back from last time.. I am now up to 268 again. This time is worse though, because I have a wedding dress to fit into!!! HELLO! WAKE UP SAM! lol. that's what I feel like my body is yelling at me!

So here are a few new things I'm doing to change this:
1) I ordered Nutrisystem and received it in the mail today!! I actually have been wanting to do this for awhile now, but Ive been too broke. I still am pretty broke, but I will just be living super cheap til my next paycheck to help balance everything out again. My parents probably would have paid for it, had I asked, but I didn't want to ask them because I wanted to pay for it with MY money...that way if I screw up, it's MY money and my bad.. ya know? It made sense when I did it. lol.

2) I think I may talk to my dr about seeing a food psychologist kinda person. Because I know that most of the reason I allowed myself to get this big is due to my emotions and emotional eating. So I need to work that out with a professional, because I NEVER want to be this size again. Ever.

3) My clothes are getting a little tighter, which is okay for now.. because I kept all my "fat" girl jeans. However, now is a different story, when I get to an 18, I'll throw away my 20's.. when I get to a 16, I'll toss 18's.. etc. That way when I do get a little heavier.. then I work my ass off (excuse my french..pun intended) to get back into those jeans. I will leav 1 pair, cause when Aunt Flow visits... I blow up. lol

4) I need to revive my food journal.

5) I need my blog world support group back. You guys are the best!! What would you like me to post about?!? Food logs? Everything?! Etc.. let me know.

6) Thanks to loving her blog.. she's inspired me to start training my body. I need to push myself to do different things and find something that I love. I love dancing, and until I find a dance class that works with my schedule, I need to find something else. I will try running. I will start really small because I have a lot of weight to run with.. but hopefully, I will come to love it.. and eventually it will be easy for me. But I know right now, it is going to suck butt!!!!!! I hate running right now because it hurts, its painful on my knees and legs, but that will change.
If anyone finds a cheap treadmill, please let me know :)
Also, she gave a pretty cool tip about listening to books versus music! Do any of you guys do that?

I really hope that this time around the lifestyle changes actually change.. and stick!!!!
<3